A very personal story of how horses have helped my struggles with mental health
By Naomi Ghafoor
I began riding at the age of four and loved it from day one. I was a quiet and introverted child, and didn’t enjoy spending time with other people, but felt immense comfort anytime I was at the stables. I loved horses, and grew passionate about all things equestrian; confidently reeling off horse-related facts to anyone who’d listen! Throughout my childhood, riding was a huge passion and helped give me a sense of confidence that I lacked in social settings or the classroom.
Regrettably I stopped riding after about seven years which is when things started to deteriorate. Throughout my time at secondary school I was bullied quite severely, and my mental health began to plummet. I started counselling and was referred to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) when I was 15, and have been heavily involved with mental health services since. For years I struggled with finding a place in the world, and no matter what I tried, I couldn’t find anything that made me feel like me in the way that riding had when I was younger.
Several years later and I was in a very dark place mentally. Having gone through quite a traumatic period in my life, I was suddenly unable to work and my mental health was suffocating me. Someone suggested that I start volunteering as a way to get me out of the house and introduce me to new people, and it felt like the perfect opportunity to rekindle my passion about horses.
I remember walking into Park Lane Stables for the first time, and I instantly felt at ease. I felt a sense of confidence I’d lacked for so long, and found that being around horses was so therapeutic for me. Seeing first-hand the work that Park Lane do was amazing, and every day at the stables was incredibly rewarding.
Working with Park Lane was a validating and healing experience for me - their motto is ‘it’s what you can do that counts’, and that really struck a chord. All the riders, staff and volunteers are celebrated for what they can do, and volunteering really enabled me to recognise my strengths, which was groundbreaking in my recovery because for months I’d been in a pit of depression, unable to focus on anything but the negatives. The whole team at Park Lane is amazing, and Natalie and Jo in particular really took care of me at a time when I felt like I had no one else. Unfortunately my road to recovery wasn’t smooth sailing, and my mental health took another big dip whilst undergoing intensive outpatient treatment, and I was once again crippled with anxiety and unable to leave the house for months. I missed riding and the Park Lane team desperately, but held on to my time there as a motivation to get better.
A global pandemic and a rocky journey in my mental health recovery later and things have really turned around for me. After fighting for years, I received an autism diagnosis in summer 2022; something that was validating after being dismissed by mental health services for years as a ‘high functioning’ (a term I disagree with!) and mentally unwell female. Receiving that diagnosis, meeting my incredible and supportive partner, then landing a job I love felt like really positive steps in my recovery, and I realised I’d be well enough to return to the stables again.
Getting back in the saddle was daunting and there were so many times when I doubted my abilities, but ultimately my confidence has grown so much over the last few months, and I have Park Lane to thank for that. One of the things I’ve benefited from the most is the social element. Meeting new people is hard, especially as an adult, but being introduced to other lovely people with a shared interest has helped me navigate social situations, which is something I struggle with most due to my autism. Spending time outdoors is always really beneficial for my wellbeing, and the exercise element has helped improve my overall fitness in a way that doesn’t overwhelm me and that feels enjoyable.
Each week I feel like I’m progressing with my riding and learning new skills, and it’s really uplifting being able to see the progress I’ve made. After a difficult week, nothing brings me more joy than getting out for a good ride around Petersham, catching up with the Park Lane team and getting my fair share of pony cuddles too. I notice this confidence not only whilst riding, but in both my personal and professional life too, and I’m always thankful for that.
Here’s to many more happy memories made with Park Lane.